Visions of Us
by avari-nights
Summary: Visions of Us series by Seylin & starry nights88. Blinded, Tunnel Vision, Vertigo & Blindsided. Quil/Embry. SLASH. See inside for full summary.
1. Blinded

**Title:** Visions of Us  
**Fandom:** Twilight  
**Couple:** QuilEmbry; QuilClaire (imprinted)  
**Authors:** Seylin (avari_maethor) and starry-nights88  
**Rating:** PG subject to change  
**Warnings:** angst, poorly explained injuries, mild language, over observant little girls subject to change

**Summary:** Some say people are blinded when they're in love, but Embry Call knows better. Because of his lover's imprint he realizes that Quil's tunnel like vision of love is no longer focused on him. Broken by hurt and jealously, Embry joins the military and embarks on a tour only to be sent home a few years later with an injury that leaves him struggling to remember those important to him. His life has become nothing but a bad case of vertigo as he slowly regains his memory and finds himself, once again, falling for his best friend…who's still got an imprint he's enamored with. Can he overcome the forces of a phenomenon or will he be blindsided by an unlikely kindness?

**Starry's (and Avari's) Corner:** This series started with _Blinded_ which was written by Avari. I begged her for a follow up and was stupid enough to threaten to write it myself if she didn't…and, guess what? She called me out. I wrote the sequel (_Tunnel Vision_) with the exception that she write a sequel to it (_Vertigo_) which she did, only after sucking me into writing the last one in the series…which isn't even out yet. xP When commenting, be sure you comment on the right journal…or I'll eat your brains and Avari will eat your soul. Try us! D

**Story Summary**: Love blinds us all.

Blinded

"Quil, please listen to me," Embry practically begged.

"I _can't_ Em. I promised Claire I would play hide and seek with her first thing."

"But Quil this is important."

"It can wait."

"Quil!" Embry stopped, nearly wincing at the little girl's shrill voice. He wasn't that he disliked Claire, he couldn't really, she was a sweet child… even if she had stolen his boyfriend. Fucking fate. Claire was the only thing Quil saw now. He couldn't blame her.

"Hey there Claire-bear!" Quil smiled as he caught the four year old and tossed her in the air. Claire giggled and hugged his neck tightly. "Are you ready for a game of hide and seek?"

"Hey Quil, I'll catch you later," Embry told him.

"Huh? Oh yeah, whatever," Quil replied, he had completely forgotten he had been talking to Embry when Claire had run out of Sam and Emily's.

Embry's fingers trembled just slightly behind Quil, just above his shoulder where he had been about to lay his hand. He nodded slowly, his eyes closing longer than needed to keep the tears at bay. "Okay," he whispered, his hand dropping to his side. Turning he slowly walked away, unaware of a small set of dark eyes watching him.

Claire watched as Embry walked away, noticing his slumped shoulders. She wasn't as close to Embry as she was Quil but she could tell he was sad. She could also tell that it was because of Quil.

"Quil?"

"Yeah Claire-bear?"

"How about we color instead?" Quil blinked at the change of plans, yesterday hide and seek was the only thing Claire had been able to talk about but it was raining and hide and seek in the house just isn't as fun.

"Sure if that's what you want," he agreed.

Claire nodded. "It is."

"Okay then." Quil carried her into Sam and Emily's house. He greeted Sam and Emily with a smile before settling in the living room with Claire. His imprint pulled out two coloring books and spread them with crayons on the coffee table.

They colored in silence for nearly an hour before Claire put down her crayon and looked at Quil. He smiled at her and held up the page he had been working on. She nodded with a smile. "Why do you make him sad?" She asked.

Quil blinked at the question. "Who?"

"Embry."

Quil heard Emily's hands still from where she was doing the dishes in the kitchen. After a moment the water in the sink moved again. He didn't understand what Claire meant. "What are you talking about Claire?"

"You make Embry sad. He wanted to talk to you earlier…but you said no. It… it was like he wasn't important."

"Embry is important," Quil assured her. "But not as important as some other people… like you."

Claire shook her head. "I'm not more important than anyone. I have Uncle Sam and Aunt Emmy and my mommy to take care of me when you're not around." She reached out and took his hand, giving him a smile. "I love you Quil…but I get the feeling that Embry loves you too."

"What do you want me to do Claire-bear? I just want to make you happy…"

"Then make yourself happy. That will make me sing and dance!" Quil laughed.

"Okay, then that's what I'll do. I'll go find Embry and-" He was cut off as Emily appeared.

"If you are going to do that you had better hurry," she told him.

Quil frowned and stood. "What are you talking about?"

"Embry is leaving." She checked the clock. "Right about now."

"What? Why? Where's he going? The pack…"

"Jacob has given him permission, considering."

"Considering what? Where is Embry going?" Quil demanded.

"He joined the military," Emily answered. "He couldn't stand to be where the one he loved ignored him."

"I've never ignored him!" Emily crossed her arms over her chest. "Okay… maybe a few times."

"A few times to many," Emily stated. "Quil… Embry might not come back."

Quil's heart froze in his chest. "N-Not come back?" Before Emily could say anything else Quil tore out of the house, running for Jacob's.

-

"You have everything right?" Jacob questioned as Embry put his duffle in the back of his truck.

"Everything the recruiter said I could bring," Embry answered burying his hands in his pockets. "Jake… I really can't thank you enough…"

"Hey, I understand, it was hard at first but I do," Jacob assured him. "Well you better get going if you're going to make your flight. I'll come to Seattle and pick up your truck in a couple of days. And I'll come get you when you come home."

"Jake…"

Jacob held up a hand. "You are coming home, I won't hear otherwise. And you will write."

Embry sighed. "Yes alpha."

Jacob grinned and pulled Embry into a hug. "Safe journey."

Embry nodded and climbed into his truck. He had just put the key in the ignition when…

"EMBRY!"

Embry blinked, that sounded like Quil. But that was impossible, Quil was with Claire.

"EMBRY!"

Jacob put a hand on Embry's door. Embry shook his head. "It can't be."

"But it is," Jacob replied. Embry looked to his left and saw Quil running at them. His mouth dropped open. Quil was coming… Embry got out of his truck and took a few unsure steps forward, still not really believing it until Quil crashed into him.

"Don't leave," Quil panted. "You can't leave."

Embry sighed. "I have to; I've already signed the paperwork."

"No! You can't leave!"

"Tell me why Quil… I don't know who told you but every time I've tried in the past two months you told me it wasn't important."

"I'm sorry! Okay? I'm sorry. I was blinded by the imprint. You are important Em. You are the most important person in my life next to Claire."

"And why aren't you with Claire?" Embry asked softly. He gave into temptation and ran his fingers through Quil's hair just as he used to do.

"Claire opened my eyes. She told me that my happiness is what she wants. It took Emily telling me that you were leaving for me to realize… I was happiest when I was with you."

Embry's eyes widened. "You mean that?"

"I do." Quil searched Embry's eyes and then kissed him. Embry sucked in a sharp breath through his nose, almost choking himself. He pulled back from the kiss to cough, though it quickly turned into a sob. Quil wrapped his arms around Embry, holding him tightly as he cried.

When Embry caught his breath he claimed Quil's lips again. They kissed, forgetting everything else around them completely. Finally Embry broke it and rested his forehead against Quil's, his hands cupping Quil's cheeks. "Why couldn't you have been unblinded two months ago?"

"Out of the mouths of babes…" Quil whispered. "You really have to go?"

"I do," Embry said. Quil kissed him again, wrapping his arms around Embry tightly.

When he pulled away they both had tears running down their cheeks. "You come back to me solider. Promise."

"I promise."

Quil smiled and let Embry go. He watched as Embry climbed into his truck and then drove away. Jacob came and draped an arm over Quil's shoulder.

"You know he might not be able to keep that promise right?" Jacob questioned softly.

"But he'll try," Quil replied.


	2. Tunnel Vision

_Can we pretend that airplanes  
In the night sky  
Are like shooting stars?  
I could really use a wish right now  
Wish right now  
Wish right now_

* * *

The cold, formal words rang in his mind. Over and over. His body shook as he brushed past his beta and best friend, heading for the back door as a tremor of heat passed through him. _We regret to inform you…_ By some small force of luck he managed to make it out to the back yard before the burning sensation overtook him and his wolf form burst out. _…Private Embry Call was honorably discharged from the US Military…_ He shook out his fur, a whine leaving his throat before he paced around in Jacob's backyard. His mind was a rush of emotion and thoughts, all jumbled together in a mess, but the one that rang out clearly was the words of that cold, formal letter. _…due to a severe head injury…_ He stopped suddenly and let out a loud, bone chilling howl to the nearly full moon.

"Quil?" Jacob called from the porch, but he didn't acknowledge his friend, he just let out a soft whine before turning towards the woods. "Quil!" He ignored the other shifter before darting off into the darkness that was the forest that surrounded their reservation. He ran and ran, no destination in mind, nothing really on his mind. Just running. Running away from the cold harsh reality. Embry was shipped off to a war. Embry was suddenly hurt and because of it he was coming home. It was a bittersweet happiness. Happy that he was coming home, but bitter because he was hurt and it was Quil's fault that he had left in the first place. His heart ached.

He remembered, just vaguely, like a cruel voice in the back of his head, the sweet words Embry had written him just a week earlier. A letter sending his love, a letter telling him how much he wanted to be home…with him.

_I miss you…_

_I miss you half of the time and think about you the rest. It's hard being so far away from you, missing you like I am. Do you miss me too? I hope you do. I'm hoping my request for a two week leave will get approved. But until then I guess I'll keep you in my thoughts._

_Love Always,_

_Embry_

He had been so happy when he got that letter and now, barely a week later, Embry's mother received another telling of an accident. A horrible accident. Quil didn't know the details and he wasn't sure he wanted to know, but Jacob called him over to tell him the news and let him read the letter he had gotten from Embry's mother.

"_At least he isn't dead…_"

He shouldn't have been hurt in the first place. He shouldn't have been there in the first place. But he had ignored him. He was blinded to Embry's feelings and now his best friend, someone he loved so much, was suffering. Because of _him_.

The silence was stifling and very strange to the six year old. She frowned at looked up at her playmate, her crayon pressed against her chin and her lips curved into a thoughtful frown. She may be young, but her mother had always said she was observant…whatever that meant. "Quil?" She said softly.

His eyes flickered to her before looking back down at the picture he was coloring, but she had his attention, she knew. "Something wrong?" She asked, her frown deepening as her big brown eyes glanced at his picture…he hadn't even picked a new color. The entire picture was a dull grey color. It was sad, almost as sad as Quil.

"It's…nothing," her elder playmate answered softly, not looking back up at her as he sighed heavily, setting it crayon down. "You know I don't feel much like coloring anymore."

The little girl heaved a great, annoyed sigh. "It's not nothing. I know it's not," she replied, throwing her crayon down before crossing her arms over her chest, glaring at the teenager across from her. "You're sad!"

She watched as the elder boy pushed a hand through his short, curly hair. "Claire…" he started, his voice bordering on pleading, but she narrowed her eyes and stuck out her bottom lip. "It's just…it's Embry, alright? You remember Embry?"

Claire blinked and then she softened almost immediately. "Your friend? Embry, your best friend? Like Jacob?" She asked, remembering the other boy, but just barely. He 'hung out' with her Uncle Sam and his group of friends. He was a part of her family, that's what her Aunt Emily had said once. They were all a family.

Quil chewed on his bottom lip and a thoughtful expression came over his features, he shook his head, but said, "Yeah…something like that, I guess…" he replied before sighing again. "Well…he's coming home…"

The six year old brightened immediately. "Really? That's good!" Claire replied excitedly, clapping her hands together. That would mean another bonfire and a bonfire meant stories, stories and s'mores! She looked back at the elder boy and noticed that he was sad, even sadder than he was before. "That _is_ good…right, Quilly?"

"I hope so, Claire-bear…" Quil mumbled in reply and the little girl frowned again, but this time she was confused. Confused as to why Quil wasn't happy that his friend was coming home. It…wasn't like Quil. There was something she was missing, something her young mind couldn't catch.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Jacob asked softly, giving his best friend a meaningful look. "I can go with his mom, no problem, man. You don't have to put yourself through this."

Quil shook his head. He wouldn't be talked out of it, but he was grateful that Jacob was offering him a way out even though he wouldn't be taking it. "I'll be fine, dude, I promise."

But Jacob didn't look convinced. "Quil…you don't know how he's going to come off of that plane…" he said softly, giving his friend a stern look. "What if you can't handle it?"

"I can and I will handle it!" Quil said forcefully, shaking his head as he side stepped Jacob and headed for the door. He had to get over to Embry's house, he was suppose to pick up his mom in a half an hour. "You just…don't understand, Jake, I _have to_ do this."

"Why? Why is it so important to you?" Jacob asked, frowning. "I don't understand…you can't…" he stepped closer to Quil and grabbed his forearm. "You can't blame yourself for this."

The other man snatched his arm out of his friend's grip. "So what if I do? It is my fault that he joined up in the first place…" Quil snapped harshly, the burn of tears behind his eyes. "If I hadn't imprinted…and if I hadn't been so wrapped up in Claire then I would've seen how much I was hurting him! I caused this, Jake! Me!"

"You know that's not true," Jacob said, pulling his friend into his arms, hugging him as he felt Quil's hot tears soak through his shirt. "And you know he wouldn't want you to think that either."

Quil was quiet and allowed the embrace for a moment, but he did not find comfort in it. After a moment he pushed out of Jacob's arms and shook his head. "I got to go…gotta get over to Ms. Call's house…can't be late."

"Yeah, man, planes don't wait," Jacob replied softly, stepping back from Quil, letting him go. "Just…good luck, man, okay?" He called after him.

The drive was long, tense, and painfully quiet. The pair-Quil and -pulled into the airport parking lot with an hour to spare before Embry's flight was due to land. The sun had set while they were driving to Seattle and now it was dark, the stars twinkling brightly overhead as they walked to the main entrance.

Unable to help himself Quil gazed into the night sky, letting its vast expanse fill him and remind him that he was a small part of something bigger and more pronounced than just he. It was a humbling sight, but it did little to alleviate the nerves he felt.

"Look at the airplanes…they looking like stars…" Embry's mother said softly, pointing off into the night sky, stopping just short of crossing the final road that led to the entrance.

"Shooting stars…" Quil agreed softly, watching one across the sky at the slow pace. "I wonder if you made a wish on one if that wish would count."

The woman reached for his hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. "It doesn't hurt to try…I think…we both could use a wish right now…"

Quil could only nod in agreement before the pair crossed the street and entered the airport. It was easy to find the arrival gate, the one Embry would be coming out of in just a few short minutes. His flight's arrival had been called out over the intercom just moments before the clock struck nine.

This was it. The time was here. Quil closed his eyes and heaved a sigh before he looked out of the glass window before him…wishing…pretending those planes really were shooting stars. He needed a wish, he needed everything to be alright. He needed Embry to be alright. He needed Embry to still…love him.

"Embry!"

Quil's eyes left the window just in enough time to see the woman he was with rush to her son, kneeling down next to the smiling man in a wheel chair. "Hi mom…" he said softly, his voice barely above a whispered as the woman wrapped her arms around him.

He felt his heart in his throat as he stepped closer to the pair. His whole body shaking as he took in his best friend's, his _lover's_ appearance. He was dressed in army garb and his green satchel was slung over the back of his chair. But the thing that caught his eye was the bright white bandage that was wrapped around his head.

"H-hi Em…" he managed to get out, kneeling down on the opposite side of Embry's mother, the man turned to him and instead of seeing love and adoration in those eyes, he saw confusion.

"…Who are you?"

* * *

This story was originally posted on starry_nights88 profile.


	3. Vertigo

**Title**: Vertigo

**Author**: Seylin

**Summary**: He was caught in a constant state of vertigo. He remembered everything and yet nothing, it was there, just out of his grasp. He wanted to remember.

**Rating**: PG

**Warnings**: Slash. Embry/Quil. Het. Quil/Claire (imprint).

**Disclaimer**: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by Stephenie Meyer. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Vertigo

Previously…

_He felt his heart in his throat as he stepped closer to the pair. His whole body shaking as he took in his best friend's, his __lover's__ appearance. He was dressed in army garb and his green satchel was slung over the back of his chair. But the thing that caught his eye was the bright white bandage that was wrapped around his head._

_"H-hi Em…" he managed to get out, kneeling down on the opposite side of Embry's mother, the man turned to him and instead of seeing love and adoration in those eyes, he saw confusion._

_"…Who are you?"_

/

Those three words.

His voice.

The confusion.

Quil gripped the cold metal of the wheelchair tightly, the metal bending under his strength, as he bowed his head, his eyes clenched closed to keep his tears from falling. Embry didn't know him.

"Embry," Ms. Call said, sympathy present in her voice for Quil. "This is Quil, surely you remember Quil, you've been best friends since the 5th grade."

Someone cleared their throat, cutting Embry's reply off. Ms. Call and Quil both looked up at the solider standing behind Embry. "Sorry to interrupt, I was assigned to Sgt. Call to make sure his family was here to meet him. MSgt. Bloom," the solider stated. "I need to speak with you both for a moment."

Ms. Call and Quil stood, both nodding. "Thank you for taking care of my son," Ms. Call told him. "I thought Embry was a Private?" MSgt. Bloom nodded and rolled Embry over to the windows.

"We'll be just a moment Embry." Embry nodded lightly, his eyes on the people moving out on the tarmac. MSgt. Bloom returned to where Ms. Call and Quil were standing. "I was told to deliver the details of your son's injury to you ma'am. Sgt. Call received a promotion once he was in Berlin."

"Oh I see. The letter only said that he had received a head injury," Ms. Call said.

MSgt. Bloom nodded. "It was vague I know. That's why I was assigned to give you details. Sgt. Call received a gunshot wound to the head from an enemy sniper, he was very lucky. He was treated by a MASH unit and then transferred to Berlin for further treatment. As you can see by the bandage, his wound has still not fully healed. Sgt. Call will need to be seen by a doctor in one month, will this be possible?"

Ms. Call nodded. "Dr. Cullen will be able to treat him."

"Good, now as I'm sure you noticed Sgt. Call does not retain all of his memories." MSgt. Bloom's eyes rested on Quil. "We believe that this amnesia is only temporary and that he will regain his memory in time. Currently he doesn't remember the last five years at all. The rest comes and goes. He has nightmares when he sleeps…though most of us do. These pills have been prescribed to help with pain and to help him sleep," MSgt. Bloom explained handing the pills to Ms. Call. "Any questions?"

"When will he start to remember?" Quil questioned. "Will he remember everything?"

"Sgt. Call has made great strides since waking up in Berlin. It's hard to say when and if he will remember everything. I'm sure your own doctor will be able to explain this better. For the time being you must be patient, don't get frustrated if he doesn't remember something and surround him with things that might trigger a memory," Bloom answered.

Quil rested a hand on Ms. Call's shoulder knowing this would be a hard task for her. "We'll all help," he assured her.

"Thank you Quil," she said bringing a hand up to rest it on his, giving it a squeeze. "MSgt. Bloom, thank you for all your help, we appreciate you escorting Embry home. If there is any way we can repay you…"

MSgt. Bloom smiled but shook his head. "I appreciate the offer but no." He looked over at Embry who was still sitting in front of the windows. "I met Embry a year ago while on assignment. He was the only one who took an interest in the new guy, I was very thankful for his friendship during those first few months. No, this is just me returning the favor."

Quil glared at MSgt. Bloom…he sounded a little to close to Embry. Embry was his damnit… even if he didn't remember it. '_I'll make him remember… if it's the last thing I do_,' he thought.

Ms. Call held her hand out to MSgt. Bloom. "Thank you again, if you're ever in the Forks or La Push area, look us up."

"I will do that, thank you," MSgt. Bloom replied. "I'm just going to say goodbye to Embry now." Ms. Call nodded and looked at the medicine that she had been given earlier. Quil watched MSgt. Bloom walk over to Embry, kneeling by him, speaking softly. His gaze turned into another glare as MSgt. Bloom rested a hand on Embry's arm… what hurt more though was the smile Embry gave the other man. Unable to stop himself he strode over to Embry and MSgt. Bloom.

"Ready to head home Em? We've got a bit of a drive ahead of us," he said resting a hand on Embry's shoulder. Quil hoped that using the nickname would be one of those memory triggers MSgt. Bloom had talked about.

Embry's head turned and he looked up at Quil. He studied him, trying to remember, knowing he should know this man… but nothing but fog greeted him. The only thing he could remember about this guy was that his name was Quil. Embry's hands clenched into fists in annoyance.

"Easy Em, don't stress yourself, you'll remember," Quil assured him giving him a smile. "We'll make sure of it."

There it was… he almost had it… that smile! And it was gone. The memory slipped away at the last instant. Embry sighed, still staring at Quil, but his fists relaxed. "Yeah, I'm ready, it's been a long day," Embry said quietly.

Quil nodded and met MSgt. Bloom's eyes as he stood. "Thanks," he said grudgingly holding out his hand.

MSgt. Bloom took Quil's hand, shaking it, his eyes widening at how warm Quil's skin was. Quil pulled out of the handshake before Bloom could ask any questions. Taking hold of the handles of Embry's wheelchair he pulled him away from the windows and back over to his mother. MSgt. Bloom could only watch as Quil pushed Embry away, Ms. Call giving him one final wave before she too followed her son and the other boy. When she caught up she rested a hand on Embry's shoulder.

/

"I'm so happy you're home Embry. I'm going to make all your favorite foods. I left your room pretty much the way it was except I cleaned it. I changed the sheets this morning so you would have fresh one's to sleep on," Ms. Call rattled on.

"Ms. Call…" Quil said softly glancing in the rear view mirror.

"You don't have to worry about remembering everything at once. If you have any questions you just have to ask. I'll get all the picture books out to show you and I'm sure Jacob and the other boys will be over sometime tomorrow. They've missed you nearly as much as I have."

"Ms. Call," Quil tried again.

"What?" She asked.

"Shh, he's asleep."

Ms. Call's eyes widened and she turned to look back at her son. Sure enough Embry had stretched out, his head resting on his bag, his eyes closed and breathing even in sleep. "Oh."

The rest of the drive home was silent aside from the occasional whimper from Embry. Quil figured it was one of the nightmares MSgt. Bloom had talked about but not a severe one. Once he pulled up in front of the Call house Quil got Embry out, he took a moment to marvel at how cool Embry felt against him and how light he was before carrying him up the porch steps and into the house while Ms. Call held the door open for him. Quil almost wanted to ask to stay… but he figured that would be pushing it.

"I'll just get his bag from the truck and then head home," Quil told Ms. Call quietly.

Ms. Call nodded as she went back to Embry's room to tuck him in. "Thank you for everything Quil."

"I'll see you tomorrow."

/

"Embry?"

Embry blinked up at the ceiling at the sound of his name. For a moment he was disoriented and didn't know where he was. The last he remembered he was in a hospital… no wait, that wasn't right.

There had been a plane ride, a very long plane ride. And then… a woman with a loving smile… blinking lights and planes. Something else… what was he missing? Oh, getting in a truck and then… Embry let his eyes close again as he tried to remember. There had been a feeling of safety and warmth! For a moment he had felt so safe and warm.

"Embry?" This time a knock following the woman's voice. His mother! That's who that voice was. "Are you awake?" The door opened just enough for her to poke her head in and he turned his own to look at her.

"Yeah, I'm awake," he answered.

Ms. Call beamed at her son and opened the door a bit further. "Good because Dr. Cullen is here to see you."

Embry slowly sat up. "Dr. Cullen?" He questioned.

Ms. Call nodded. "MSgt. Bloom said you needed to be seen by a doctor here around home in a month but I wanted to know everything for myself so I called Dr. Cullen this morning, since it was his day off at the hospital he agreed to come out. He's waiting in the living room," she explained.

"Should I change?"

Ms. Call smiled as she came to help Embry stand. His movements where still a bit unsure so she supported him until he caught his balance. "I'm sure he won't mind that you're in your pajamas."

"Okay," Embry answered. Together they went out to the living room, Ms. Call keeping a firm grip on her son's arm. Embry's eyes widened when he saw the man standing in the middle of the living room. The tall blonde had to be one of the most handsome men he had ever seen. "That's Dr. Cullen?" The man looked like he should be making movies!

The blonde smiled charmingly and held out his hand to Embry. "Dr. Carlisle Cullen, welcome home Embry."

"Did you know me?" Embry questioned as he shook the other's hand. His eyes widened at how cold the hand within his own was, much like MSgt. Bloom's reaction to Quil's hand.

"We have met before," Carlisle answered. "You have lost quite a bit of weight since then. Please, have a seat and I will begin the examination. Your mother tells me that you have suffered some memory loss."

Embry sat on the couch, watching Dr. Cullen's actions wearily. He didn't know what it was but something about this man put him on edge. It was like a deep feeling that…burned. But he pushed it back, Dr. Cullen had been nothing but nice to him and his mother. He had no reason to be suspicious of him…except for his freakishly cold hands. "Yeah," he finally answered. "I can't remember anything from the last five years and everything else comes and goes. When I first woke up in…"

"Berlin," Ms. Call supplied.

"Berlin, I couldn't remember how to talk."

Carlisle nodded and gave Embry a simple physical before cutting the bandage away from his head. "This may hurt just a bit," he stated as he tested the skin around the stitches in Embry's head. The only reaction he measured from Embry was the tightening of his muscles and his hands clenching.

"The army doctors did a good job," Carlisle said. "The stitches are clean with no sign of infection. Are you suffering from any headaches?"

"A few… when I get frustrated about not remembering something. And I have nightmares," Embry answered.

"Nightmares?" Carlisle questioned.

"Oh! MSgt. Bloom gave me these pills at the airport. Embry takes one before bed," Ms. Call said handing Carlisle the pill bottle.

Carlisle studied the bottle for a moment before nodding. "These are strong sleeping pills, they will help Embry to sleep through the nightmares he is having. Embry, do you remember any of your nightmares?"

"No, though I assume they are related to the war… I was told that I was a solider for two years. I'm sure bad stuff happened during those two years that I would rather not remember."

"Of course, war is not an easy thing to forget. I have seen my share."

Embry turned to look at him. "How old are you?"

Carlisle smiled. "Older than I look. Now, after I rewrap your injury I'm going to ask you ten questions. Your answers to these questions will help me gauge the extent of memory loss."

"Alright," Embry agreed worrying his bottom lip. He hoped he remembered the answers to these questions.

Carlisle asked Ms. Call to step out of the room while he asked the questions, not wanting her to be tempted to answer for Embry or being upset if he didn't know the answer. Memory loss could be a very difficult process for families. Carlisle wanted to make this as easy for Embry and his mother as he could.

Pulling a clipboard with a series of questions on it out of his bag Carlisle settled at the other end of the couch. "We'll start out with some easy questions and toward the end they will get harder," Carlisle explained.

Embry took a deep breath and tried to relax. Carlisle started with a simple question, his full name. Embry didn't remember his middle name but he did remember how old he was. By the eighth question he couldn't remember anything. It frustrated him to no end! His hands clenched into fists and he could feel that heat pressing against him again.

Carlisle watched Embry closely. He knew from the loose friendship that had formed between the pack and his coven that anger often caused the shifter's to phase. He didn't want Embry phasing here inside the house, especially when he was still recovering. As he was about to speak the front door of the Call house opened and Jacob walked in.

"Yo Embry! I heard you got home last night but figured you needed to rest so I didn't come by." Jacob smiled as he walked over and sat beside Embry, he gave Carlisle a brief nod and smile which the vampire returned. Carlisle was impressed by how quickly Embry relaxed with Jacob near. "Quil and I just wanted to come by and see how you were this morning." Carlisle met the eyes of the other shifter standing in the doorway of the room.

"Jacob," Embry said with a smile.

Jacob's grin widened and he squeezed Embry's shoulder before looking back at Quil. He didn't notice the hurt look in Quil's eyes but Carlisle, who had been watching the other, did. "I thought you said he didn't remember."

"He doesn't remember me," Quil said quietly.

"Embry suffers from dissociative amnesia," Carlisle stated as he put the clipboard back into his bag. Ms. Call returned to the living room as Carlisle said this. "It was caused by the trauma that resulted from the wound to Embry's head."

"Will he get better?" Ms. Call questioned.

"In time, I don't see why he would not regain most, if not all his memories. But there is always a chance that some things will not return. Embry may also experience dissociative fugue," Carlisle explained.

"What's that?" Quil asked.

"Dissociative fugue is small bouts of amnesia, not serious and very rare but it is a possibility with an injury such as this."

"So what should we do in the meantime?" Ms. Called wondered.

"Memories lost due to amnesia usually return when a person is surrounded by things that will remind them of those memories. Being in familiar places, among familiar people, looking at photos and letters, those sorts of things," Carlisle answered.

"We can do that. We're already planning a bonfire for the end of the week," Jacob said with a smile.

"A bonfire?" Embry questioned.

"Oh yeah, we all get together and cook hot dogs and marshmallows and tell stories."

"It's the best!" Seth exclaimed as he came through the door. Embry blinked at the younger boy in confusion. Quil hated to admit it, but he was relieved that it looked like Embry didn't remember Seth. He didn't want to be the only one his lover didn't remember.

"Who're you?" Embry questioned.

Seth laughed. "Figures you wouldn't remember the puppy of the pack!"

"The pack?" Embry asked looking even more confused.

"Seth," Jacob stated and shook his head. "Embry was hurt, he has amnesia."

Seth's eyes widened. "Oh!"

"The pack is just a group of guys that hang out. We're really close, like a wolf pack," Quil explained. "We're like brothers."

"Yeah! It's the best. And every now and then we have a bonfire and those rock because of the stories. The stories are amazing," Seth told him smiling widely.

Embry returned the smile; something about Seth's smile was infectious. "So when will the bonfire be?"

"Either Friday or Saturday night, we haven't decided yet but I'll let you know," Jacob answered.

Embry nodded and turned to Carlisle. "Dr. Cullen, thank you for coming to have a look at me."

"My pleasure Embry, take it easy for the next week or so. Call me if your sleeping pills don't do the trick for your nightmares and if nothing else I'll see you again in a month to see how your injury is healing." Carlisle stood and nodded to Jacob again, who returned it. Embry thought it was weird that the doctor was paying so much attention to Jacob but he didn't comment on it.

Once Carlisle had left everyone in the room started talking all at once. Embry found it very confusing, trying to keep up with all the conversations and voices at once. "Guys… guys!" Embry's eyes went to the boy who had been with his mother the day before. "You're confusing him."

"How can you tell Quil?" Seth questioned.

Quil gave the younger boy a look. "Really Seth? You're really asking me that?"

"Yeah, yeah, stupid question."

"Why is it a stupid question?" Embry asked.

All eyes turned to him now and he shifted uncomfortably. "It just is Em," Quil finally replied. That sad look was in his eyes again, Embry didn't like that look.

"Boys, I think you should leave for today. I'm going to show Embry some pictures and old movies and then I think he should rest," Ms. Call stated.

"I'd like to stay if you don't mind Ms. Call," Quil said. "I think I could help if he has any questions."

"Claire not around today?"

"Her mom took her to Seattle for a mother daughter day."

"Ohh. Sure, you can stay."

"Thanks."

Embry watched the conservation in confusion. Who was Claire? As with everything else he felt like he should remember her.

Embry was pulled out of his thoughts by a to warm hand on his shoulder. He turned his head to look at Jacob. "I'll see ya later buddy," Jacob told him with a smile. Embry nodded, returning the smile.

"Okay, thanks Jacob."

"Jake."

"Right… Jake."

Jacob gave Embry's shoulder one last squeeze before he stood and went to the door. Seth grinned and waved at Embry. "Bye Em!"

"Bye," Embry replied his smile widening at the sight of Seth's infectious smile.

Once Jacob and Seth had left Ms. Call went to look for the old movies and photo albums she kept. "Are you hungry Em?" Quil questioned.

Embry's stomach answered for him by growling loudly. He knew he was blushing, he could feel it on his cheeks. "Yeah…"

Quil chuckled and nodded. "Anything sound good?"

"Whatever really."

"Spaghetti it is then." Quil disappeared into the kitchen. Embry heard him moving about and was curious as to how one made spaghetti. Standing he went to the kitchen doorway to watch. Quil looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. "What's up?"

Embry shook his head. "I just don't know… don't remember how to make spaghetti… could I watch?"

Quil smiled. "Of course. C'ere and I'll let you help me."

Coming to stand next to Quil, Embry watched closely as he cooked the spaghetti and then the hamburger. Quil let him stir and keep moving the meat so it didn't burn. Once all the ingredients were ready they cooked the sauce and then mixed everything together.

Embry smiled as they finished up. He was making spaghetti! And he was making it with Quil. Embry gave the other boy a wide grin as they waited for the bread to finish. Quil returned the smile and Embry felt something in his stomach. It was like… like… those little things you saw flying all over the place in the summer…

"Butterflies," he murmured still looking at Quil.

Quil raised an eyebrow at the random word. "Butterflies? What about them?"

A blush lit up Embry's cheeks and Quil chuckled. He bumped his hip against the other boy's. "Don't worry about it. The plates are in the cabinet to your right, you get them and I'll get the bread."

Embry nodded and got the plates. As he moved to the table he kept his eyes on Quil. There was something about the other boy… first the smile, and then the butterflies… but it felt like something deeper than that.

"I found them!" Ms. Call exclaimed coming into the kitchen. "Oh, you made…" She checked the clock, it was 10am. "…an early lunch?"

Quil laughed. "Spaghetti is good for any meal Ms. Call. What did you find?"

"I knew I had some really old photo albums from when Embry was a little boy around here. I found it under my bed. Have a seat on either side of me boys and we'll go through them."

"Sounds good, do you want any?" Quil asked.

"No thank you, I'm still full from my breakfast." Ms. Call sat at the table and Embry sat next to her. Quil put the bread and spaghetti on the table before getting drinks and forks for he and Embry. Sitting on the other side of Ms. Call he waited until Embry had filled his plate before getting his own helping.

Quil and Embry ate as Ms. Call flipped through the pictures, talking about various memories. Embry remembered some things here and there but nothing really significant. "Quil!" He exclaimed suddenly. "That's you!" Embry pointed at a picture, probably one of the first of them together.

Quil looked down at the picture and smiled. In it he and Embry each had an arm over the other's shoulder's, wide smiles on their young faces. It was then that he realized, in every picture, _every single one_, Embry was always watching him. He always had that loving, protective look in his eyes, even in the ones of them as children. It was the same look that he had come to love so much when they had gotten together before the imprint. It was the look Embry had yet to give him.

Quil swallowed hard and blinked back tears. If only he had listened to Embry… if only he hadn't been so _blinded_ by the imprint… none of this would have happened, Embry would still remember. Embry would still be giving him that look. "I have to go," he stated.

Ms. Call and Embry gave him the same confused look. "What's wrong?" Embry questioned.

Quil cleared his throat, hoping his sadness didn't show in his voice. "Nothing's wrong. I just remembered there's some stuff I have to do for my grandfather. I'll see you guys later."

Embry opened his mouth to say something, to stop Quil from leaving, but nothing came out. He could only watch as Quil walked away. The action seemed familiar… he closed his eyes trying to bring the memory forward. All he got was snaps or flashes of that same image… Quil walking away. What had happened between them?

/

Three days later Quil yawned as he answered the phone. "Heeello?"

"Oh Quil! I'm so glad I got a hold of you!"

"Ms. Call?" He was immediately on alert. "Is it Embry? Did something happen? Is he hurt?"

"No, no, no, nothing like that. I got called into work and I don't want to leave Embry alone. He's been having horrible nightmares at night and I don't want him to be alone if he wakes up after one. Could you come over and stay with him? Please?" Ms. Call asked.

Quil sighed softly. "Yeah, I'll be there soon as I get dressed." He wanted to be there for Embry but he also didn't want to hurt him again. This was all his fault after all.

"Thank you Quil!"

"Yeah, no problem."

/

Ms. Call was gone when Quil got to Embry's house. The house itself was quiet and hadn't changed much since he had last left it three days ago. One thing that had changed was that there were post-it notes everywhere. Quil walked up to one, reading the words on it. "Light switch, up is on, down is off." Oh! This must have been a way Ms. Call was trying to help Embry remember.

Quil wondered through the rooms reading the various post it's that were stuck to things. Some were just names and how things worked but others held memories. The one's with memories were in Embry's neat hand while the other notes were in Ms. Call's cursive. Quil smiled, so he was remembering, that was good.

A soft whimper caught Quil's attention. Turning he listened closely. Another whimper, it was coming from Embry's bedroom. Quil's heart caught in his throat and he ran for Embry's bedroom. The door crashed against the wall as he threw it open but the sound didn't wake Embry. Quil's heart started again as he realized that Embry was just having a nightmare, though it seemed like a very violent one from how much he was tossing and turning.

Going to the bed Quil sat on the edge and held Embry down by his shoulders, not wanting the other to hurt himself. "Em, Embry, wake up," he said. "C'mon Em, it's just a dream."

"N-no! Don't… shots fired… thirteen men down… no survivors… don't walk away… reload!" Embry whimpered, his head still turning this way and that. He pushed against Quil's hold but didn't get far since Quil was stronger. "Quil don't!"

The next words Quil had been planning to say died before he could get them out. Embry was having a nightmare…about him? Well him and a mixture of war it sounded like. But why was he in there? "Em, I'm here, don't what?"

"Don't!" Embry cried out again.

"Don't what Em?"

"Don't walk away!" Embry whimpered. "You always walk away…"

/

Quil sat on the couch in the Call living room, his hands folded together, pressed to his lips in a worried fashion. It had taken him five minutes to realize that Embry was still stuck in his nightmare, those five minutes he had just been frozen by Embry's words. "_You always walk away_". God! How could he have considered himself a good boyfriend at one point when he didn't even realize how much he was hurting Embry?

The shower in the other room turned off and Embry appeared a few moments later wearing nothing but a pair of sleep pants. He held a towel in his hand which he was using to dry his hair. "Hey, you're still here."

"Yeah…" Quil was staring he knew. After phasing for the first time Embry's muscles had been defined but after two years of not phasing one would expect that those muscles would have been lost. Not Embry's though, no, of course being in the military probably had something to do with that. What also caught his eye were the scars… one on Embry's shoulder and one jagged line on his left side. "Your mom asked me to stay with you." Quil stood and came to stand in front of Embry. "Em… do you remember how you got these?" He lightly touched the shoulder scar and then the one on his left side.

Embry looked down following his fingers. His eyebrows went together in confusion. He was trying to remember; surely one would remember where they got scars wouldn't they? "Looks like… a bullet and a knife wound… but no, I don't actually remember them."

"You never told me about these," Quil whispered. Now Embry's look of confusion was focused on him. "We wrote each other letters. You never mentioned these in them."

"Maybe I had them before I left?" Embry suggested.

"No, you didn't," Quil assured him. "I know you didn't." He knew Embry's body better than that.

"Oh, well I don't know. I guess it'll come back in time. Must not have been too important if I didn't mention them in my letters."

'_Or you just didn't want to worry me… you were taking care of me… even from over there…_' Quil thought.

"Hey, are you hungry?" Embry questioned.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I can always eat."

"Great! My mom showed me how to make pancakes. I have my notes for them in here…" Embry said as he walked into the kitchen. He picked up a small notebook and showed Quil the directions he had written down.

'_Meticulous as ever_,' Quil thought in amusement. "Great, I'll just sit here at the table and watch. If you need me just say so."

"Will do."

/

The phone rang as Embry washed the dishes from their breakfast. "Quil would you get that?" He asked holding up his soapy hands.

"Sure." Quil went to the phone and answered it, "Call residence."

"Quilly!"

Quil blinked in surprise. "Claire-bear?"

"Yup! It's me!"

"How did you know I was at Embry's?" He questioned.

"I tried your house and Ol' Quil said you had gone over there. Aunt Emily gave me the number. Its okay I called right?"

Quil smiled. "Yeah, it's fine. I was just surprised."

"Oh well surprise!"

Quil laughed. "Did you need something Claire-bear?"

"Not really." He could just see her sitting in the chair under Sam and Emily's phone, kicking her feet. "Are you coming over today?"

"I can if you want me to." Quil glanced at Embry, who was trying hard to look like he wasn't listening. Quil smiled as he leaned against the wall. "If Embry can come too."

"Course I do! And yeah, bring Embry; it'll be fun to meet him!" There was a pause and then… "Again!"

Quil chuckled. "Alright, we'll be over soon okay?"

"Kay! Bye Quilly!"

"Bye Claire-bear." Quil hung up the phone and looked back at Embry who was drying the last plate in the sink. "Clair would like us to come over for awhile. Are you feeling up to it?"

"Claire? You guys sound…close," Embry said as he put the dishes up.

"You could say that. Claire is Emily's, who is married to Sam, niece. I help babysit her when she's around, we've become really attached."

"Did I know her before?" Embry questioned.

"Yeah," Quil answered.

"Does she remember me?"

"Vaguely. She's six so she was four when you left. She remembers that we used to hang out at Sam and Emily's sometimes."

"Oh." Well at least he wouldn't need to worry about offending the little girl by not remembering her.

"So do you want to go?"

"Sure, it'll be nice to get out of this house for a bit," Embry replied. "I'll just go get dressed."

"I'll be waiting," Quil agreed. Watching Embry go back to his room Quil could only think about how many times he had watched Embry get dressed. All the mornings before school… lying on Embry's bed basking in the afterglow… Quil sighed and shook his head. It did no good to think about it now.

/

Embry laughed at the joke Quil had just told him. They were walking down the hill to a house that looked a lot like the other houses on the reservation, but with more trees. Quil was smiling at his reaction to his joke and Embry loved that smile. It gave him those butterflies again.

The door of the house they were approaching was thrown open and a little girl ran out. "Quilly!"

Quil's smile widened and was no longer directed at him, but to the little girl. This must be Claire. Embry held back, watching as Quil caught the little girl and tossed her into the air. Claire squealed as Quil caught her and spun them both around. Her little arms were wrapped around Quil's neck, a huge smile on her face. Embry's butterflies disappeared, in fact now his stomach felt heavy instead of light. He also became aware that his hands had clenched into fists. He didn't know why he was reacting this way…

"I missed you!" Claire exclaimed as Quil set her down.

Quil rolled his eyes in amusement and stroked her hair fondly. "You saw me two days ago."

"Well that's a really long time!"

"I guess it is," Quil agreed. He then remembered Embry and turned to look back at the other boy. There was a curious look on Embry's face, Quil couldn't place it. "Claire, this is Embry."

Claire realized for the first time that there was another boy with Quil. She stepped closer and behind Quil so that she was only peeking out from behind him. Embry was taller than Quil, though not as tall as she remembered. Claire's hold on Quil's shorts tightened at the look on Embry's face. It wasn't scary… or angry… just blank.

"Claire-bear, this is Embry." Claire looked up as Quil spoke. There was something in his voice that she had never heard before; it was similar to the voice Quil used when he was talking to her but different somehow. "Embry, this is Claire."

Quil's voice cut through his thoughts. Embry looked down at the little girl who looked so scared or just really shy, he wasn't sure which it was. He smiled and kneeled down so that he was eye level with her. "Hey Claire. How are you today?"

Claire hid her face against Quil's leg. "Hey now Claire-bear, Embry won't hurt you. He's probably the nicest person you'll ever meet."

"Nu-uh! That's you," she replied.

Quil chuckled. "Just the same, why don't you say hi?"

Claire looked back at Embry, his face flashing through her memory. She gasped, her eyes widening. "It's you! But you don't look sad now."

Embry cocked his head to the side and looked confused. "Sad?"

"Mm! Last time I saw you, you looked sad," she stated.

"Huh… well if I was sad then I'm glad I don't remember that. I don't like to be sad, do you?" He asked.

Claire shook her head. "Nope, I would much rather be happy."

Embry smiled again and offered his hand. "Well how about we make some memories? Would that make you happy?"

"With Quilly too?"

Embry looked up at Quil and his smile widened. "With Quilly too."

/

At the end of the week, Saturday, Embry found himself excited. Tonight was the night of the bonfire that Jacob had mentioned earlier that week. Claire had been so excited about it that she had talked of almost nothing but. Her excitement had rubbed off on him, now he was just waiting for Quil to come and show him where the bonfire would be.

A knock came at his bedroom door and Embry pulled his shirt over his head as he turned. "Quil's here," Ms. Call told him.

"Why didn't he come tell me that?" Embry questioned.

"Claire's with him, he didn't want to leave her alone in the car."

"Oh." Embry nodded, his stomach did that odd clenching thing again. "That makes sense."

"What time will you be home?" Ms. Call asked.

"…I don't know, how long do these bonfires usually last?"

"Til midnight or better," she answered.

"Then midnight or after I guess."

Ms. Call nodded and walked out to Quil's car with Embry. She gave Claire a friendly smile as Embry slid into the passenger seat. "You're going to take care of my boy aren't you Quil?"

"Always Ms. Call," Quil assured her.

"I'll watch out for Emry too!" Claire stated.

Ms. Call laughed softly. "I appreciate it sweetie. Have a good time." She watched Quil drive away, waving when Embry did.

/

"Tell a story Jake!" Seth urged.

"You've heard them all Seth," Jacob replied leaning back against the log that they had placed on the beach. Everyone had eaten their fill of hot dogs and chips, now they were finishing off the s'mores.

"Aw c'mon! You gotta know at least one more!"

Jacob snorted and shook his head as he placed his hands behind his head. "Tell the one about the spirit warriors." Jacob glanced over at Quil, who had spoken. He raised an eyebrow in question and glanced at Embry who was putting a s'more together. Meeting Quil's eyes again the other boy just nodded.

"Alright, spirit warriors it is." Jacob stared up at the stars for a moment, letting the sound of the waves crashing against the beach build the anticipation. "The Quileutes have been a small people from the beginning. And we are a small people still, but we have never disappeared. This is because there had always been magic in our blood. It wasn't always the magic of shape-shifting – that came later. First, we were spirit warriors."

Jacob's voice was captivating, much like Billy's had been for the rest of them years before. Embry found himself entranced by the story, his s'more long forgotten. He could feel something deep within him responding to the story, though he had no idea what it was.

"Claire-bear, you have chocolate all over your face." Embry looked over to where Quil was sitting near him, cleaning Claire's face off. That deep feeling was replaced with his stomach clenching again. Embry's eyes widened as he realized what it was. Jealousy. He was jealous of the attention Quil paid to Claire.

'_That should be me…_' He thought, his fists clenching.

"Oh! Emry! This is for you," Claire said once her face was clean. He looked at her, fighting his anger down. Embry watched as she dug into the little purse she was carrying. Finally she pulled out a picture and handed it to him. "I found it in one of Aunt Emmy's picture books t'day."

Embry took the picture with a small smile. He looked down at it and froze. The picture was of him and Quil. Embry's eyes widened and his grip on the picture tightened. They were _kissing_. Not a friendly, joking sort of kiss, but a full on, heated kiss. In the picture Embry had his hands on Quil's cheeks; almost looking like he was pulling him into the kiss but that wasn't so because Quil's arms were wrapped around his neck. Embry felt that anger burn through him again and he looked at Quil sharply as he stood.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He hissed.

Jacob stopped his story as Embry stood. "Em?"

Embry ignored him, his eyes locked on Quil. "Why!"

"Why what?" Quil asked, having not seen the picture.

"This!" Embry thrust the picture to him. He was shaking. He could feel something inside him burning, clawing, trying to force its way out. Embry pushed it down, whatever it was, needing to hear the answer first.

Quil took the picture, noticing Embry's shaking hand. He glanced at Jacob as he moved Claire to the opposite side of the fire. Jacob stood, ready to help should something happen. Quil finally looked down at the picture and his eyes widened. He remembered when this had been taken, Seth had taken it actually, it had been at his birthday, the one before he imprinted.

Embry had come up behind him, tapped him on the shoulder. When he had turned Embry had grabbed him and pulled him into a kiss. His automatic reaction had been to wrap his arms around Embry's neck returning the kiss. It had been that Seth had snapped the picture.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Embry demanded. "Why didn't any of you!"

"We didn't want to upset you Em…" Jacob said softly as he came up behind Quil.

"Well a good fucking job you've done! You _lied_ to me!" Emily covered Claire's ears at Embry's language, not that she blamed him.

"We didn't…" Quil started.

"No! Fuck you. Fuck you, and you, and the rest of you! You've all been keeping secrets from me!" It was then it happened. Something inside Embry snapped. He screamed as the thing that had been clawing at him from the inside finally broke loose.

The gray wolf with black spots growled at them, eyes full of anger as pieces of Embry's clothes fell around him. He threw his head back and howled before taking off into the night.

"We have to go after him, he could hurt himself," Jacob stated already pulling his shirt off. Quil nodded and glanced back.

"Someone take Claire home." With that a russet brown wolf and a chocolate one ran off into the darkness after Embry.

* * *

This story was originally posted on Seylin's profile.


	4. Blindsided

_**Previously…**_

_"Why didn't you tell me?" Embry demanded. "Why didn't any of you!"_

_"We didn't want to upset you Em…" Jacob said softly as he came up behind Quil._

_"Well a good fucking job you've done! You lied to me!" Emily covered Claire's ears at Embry's language, not that she blamed him._

_"We didn't…" Quil started._

_"No! Fuck you. Fuck you, and you, and the rest of you! You've all been keeping secrets from me!" It was then it happened. Something inside Embry snapped. He screamed as the thing that had been clawing at him from the inside finally broke loose._

_The gray wolf with black spots growled at them, eyes full of anger as pieces of Embry's clothes fell around him. He threw his head back and howled before taking off into the night._

_"We have to go after him, he could hurt himself," Jacob stated already pulling his shirt off. Quil nodded and glanced back._

_"Someone take Claire home." With that a russet brown wolf and a chocolate one ran off into the darkness after Embry._

Something miraculous happened that night. Something completely unexpected, but making such perfect sense. It was something that astounded even Carlisle-who was acting as Embry's doctor-though he admitted they (meaning everyone; shifter and vampire alike) should've thought about this before. It should've dawned on them sooner and then, perhaps, Embry could've avoided the months of mental torture as he tried to remember his life.

When Embry had phased and ran off into the woods his accelerated healing had reawaked and set to right the things that were wrong with him and, by morning, all of his injuries were healed. Embry had returned to as he was before the injury. His memory was completely restored, his wounds mended, but…wouldn't you know it, his heart was still broken.

But, as his memories rushed over him, his broken heart was the last thing on his overloaded mind. The sudden return of the last few years of his life was such a shock to his system. It was more than he could handle at that one moment. He phased out, his nude form lit by moonlight as he laid against the forest floor, clutching his head and screaming at the mind numbing pain. Tears slid down his face as he thrashed about the dirt floor as, finally, the two wolves that were trailing him appeared by his side.

Both men immediately phased out as well and, in a panic, kneeled next to him, calling out for him. Their voices, their panic, their alarm, and…_his_ tears hitting his face were the last things he remembered before his world went black.

**x x x**

"He's resting," Carlisle said in a final sort of way as he stepped out of Embry's bedroom. "He's had a shock. All of his memories returned. At once. I gave him something to make him sleep and to ease the pain. He's got an _awful_ headache."

"Can I see him?" Embry's mother asked, already moving towards her son's bedroom door, looking ready to defy Carlisle if he refused her, but luckily, he didn't.

"Just be quiet," Carlisle instructed softly as the woman opened the door and disappeared into the room. The doctor turned back to the other two shifters in the room. "He'll probably be in some pain when he wakes up, but I've left some painkillers on his bedside table that should help a little. Call me when he does wake up."

Jacob nodded in understanding and then the vampire left. The alpha heaved a great sigh before sagging back against the couch. "Who would've guessed…" he said softly, Quil's eyes flickering to him. "We should've thought of this…then we could've made sure it didn't happen until he was ready. Until he remembered more so it wouldn't have been a shock to him."

Quil heaved a soft sigh and looked towards Embry's door. "You think…do you think he'll still be upset when he wakes up?" He asked softly.

"What we did…what we kept from him…it was pretty shitty," Jacob pointed out softly, pinning Quil with a meaningful look. "Now that he remembers how it was between you two before he left…he might not be so upset, but then again, it could make it all the more worse."

Quil didn't realize it then, he didn't know, but Jacob's words rang like a prediction. He had no idea that Embry would wake up the next morning and not want to see him. He didn't know that Embry would be so heartbroken, so betrayed that he wouldn't even want to see him. He had no idea how hard he'd have to work to win back Embry's affections.

**x x x**

"You lied to me," Embry repeated softly, glaring at his best friend and…a-and his lover with steely brown eyes. "You lied to me about something so…so _important_ and I can't figure out why you'd hide that from me. Wouldn't you want me to know how much you loved me? Wouldn't you want to start rebuilding that connection?"

Quil shifted uncomfortably on the edge of Embry's bed, unable to meet his gaze, instead he looked down at his hands. "I…I didn't want to scare you…I wanted to ease you into it," he replied softly, shaking his head. "I didn't do it to be cruel."

"But you were!" Embry hissed, his hands clenching into fists. "It seems almost like…like you didn't want me to remember. Like you wanted me to forget about you…"

"No!" Quil interrupted immediately, wide-eyed as he looked at his best friend. "Never! I love you, Embry, but I didn't want to put you through my imprint again."

Embry shock his head before rolling over onto his side. "I never stopped going through it, Quil," he murmured, looking away from the man. "Even when I couldn't remember your name my heart was aching for you and her."

Quil could feel the burning behind his eyes as he shifted, reaching out to touch the other shifter. "Em, I…" he started, but Embry scooted away from him.

"Just…go away…I don't want to see you anymore."

"B-but, Em…"

"Just…_go_!"

And Quil went. He had no other choice. He manically moved to the door, tears blurring his vision, ignoring Ms. Call's alarmed questions as he passed her. She thought something was wrong with Embry. The only thing wrong with him was a broken heart. Quil saw that now.

It was his fault. He could've prevented it. But he didn't. He thought he was doing his friend, his…his _lover_ a favor by not telling him about their past relationship. He didn't think it'd hurt Embry so much, but he had misjudged the man so much.

He wondered if he even deserved Embry's love. He had put him through so much pain. He had ignored him and then he was ultimately the cause of his memory loss. He had wanted Embry to remember him…but, he really didn't do anything to help him remember. He had simply stood by and waited hopefully that one day he'd wake up and remember that he loved him.

Things weren't supposed to be like this.

Quil dimly stared through the driver's side window of his car. Things…didn't have to stay like this. For the first time that morning he felt hope. It welled up inside of him and warmed him so perfectly. Maybe…just maybe, he could fix this. He could win his lover back and then…

He froze.

His soul already belonged to another. His heart was hers to keep. The little girl spending the summer with her favorite aunt. One day she'd be a young woman and one day she might want him as more than a playmate, brother, or protector. One day she could want to take that next step with him.

What about Embry?

Could he really put Embry through the pain of losing him again…? Did he have it in him to ask his lover to spend the next few years with him, knowing one day they could wake up and Quil could be called to Claire…never to return. To be irrevocably hers.

As quickly as it had appeared, his hope vanished.

He _really_ didn't deserve Embry.

**x x x Two Months Later x x x**

His life finally made sense.

He had pieced together his memories and, finally, began to accept them. He processed them, relieved them, and pushed them back to the rightful place. All of the good times and all of the bad. Each memory touched him and he understood a little more.

The entire process had taken some time after the general rush of his memories and he still got the occasional headache, but his memory was back to the way it was before the accident (he still had nightmares about the accident).

Oddly, though, it still felt like something was missing. His heart was beating, but it was always aching. He was getting through his day, but not living. He wasn't thriving. Something was _missing_!

"Hey, Em…" Jacob said, plopping down on the couch next to him, throwing his arm over the back of it. "So there's this bonfire tonight…and there'll be food and stories…wanna come?" He asked looking over at him."FYI…you totally have no choice because it's like…a pack meeting, so you have to come."

Embry blinked and then looked at his best friend, his eyebrow arched. "Then why ask?" He pointed out as Jacob chuckled, shrugging.

"Wanted to be polite, I guess," Jacob replied, smiling at his friend. "And, uh, since it's a pack meeting…Quil's gonna be there…"

Embry fell silent at that, shifting on the couch. "I, uh, kinda figured…" he replied softly. He hadn't seen nor heard from Quil since the morning after his memories returned. He told Quil to leave and he did, he just didn't think the man would never come back. That wasn't the Quil he had fallen in love with. The one that didn't quit. The one that relentlessly pursued him until he finally relented and went out with him.

"I know what happened between you two was rough and shitty, but we were in on it too and you've forgiven us. Don't you think it's time you forgave Quil too?" Jacob asked softly, but he didn't answer. He couldn't.

He wanted to forgive Quil, but did Quil even want his forgiveness? Did the man give up so easily? He didn't know, but he wasn't sure he wanted to find out. He didn't think he could stand hearing that Quil gave up on him.

"Embry?"

The man blinked at the sound of his name and nodded his head. "Yeah, yeah…I'll be there," he replied, but didn't say anything about Quil because he just didn't know.

Jacob heaved a soft sigh and clapped Embry's shoulder with his hand. "Alright, man, I'll see you then." He stood up, offered the man a smile, and then he left the living room.

Everything, he realized, rested on tonight.

He'd do his part and offer his forgiveness, but it was up to Quil to take it.

**x x x**

Jacob had come and picked him up, driving him to First Beach because his mother didn't trust him to drive quite yet. It was still early. The sun had just barely set. When Jacob pulled into the beach's parking lot he hadn't expected to see Quil's car, but there it was. Embry shifted uncomfortably in his seat and Jacob looked over at him. "Have you decided to talk to him?" He asked softly.

Embry didn't answer and Jacob didn't press the issue. He unbuckled his seatbelt and then grabbed the door handle, he grasped it for a moment before pulling, the car door opening. Then he was up and out of the car before Jacob had even shut the car off. He was stalking down to the beach and the spot permanently designated for their bonfires.

The fire hadn't been started yet, but there was a sizable pile of fire wood next to the fire pit and more was being brought in. That was when he saw Quil, carrying an arm full of dried driftwood with Seth tagging along after him, chatting aimlessly about some subject Embry didn't care to know. He hadn't been noticed yet and he made no move to be noticed. He just watched Quil, the look on his face was something akin to hunger and desire.

This was the gaze Quil turned to see after he had set his load on the wood pile. It made him freeze, with widened eyes. Embry stiffened, his eyes quickly darting away upon being caught. He rubbed the back of his neck, stepping closer to the fire pit. Seth feel silent as he approached, shifting uncomfortably before sprinting past the pair, heading towards Jacob and leaving the two alone.

Embry shifted uncomfortably as Quil approached him. He felt the urge to run rise up within him, but he forced it down. This needed to be done. He didn't hate Quil. He never had. He was hurt and felt betrayed, but he was over it. Quil needed to know that and it needed to come from him.

"Hey."

It was funny how one word, one simple word, could sum up all of the feelings the person speaking had been dealing with. It was even funnier how easily they were conveyed and, well, how easily they were accepted.

"Hey," Embry replied, his voice choking on the word, his eyes burning with tears as Quil stepped forward, closing the space between them and took him into his arms.

Everything, he realized, would be alright.

* * *

**twelve years later…**

* * *

Quil pulled himself free of his lover's tight confining heat, sitting on his knees as he looked in between their bedside tables. "I know I had a box of tissues nearby…" he said, frowning in thought as Embry chuckled and reached up for him, pulling him down into another kiss. Apparently tissues to clean them up didn't matter, not that Quil minded. He was perfectly content to bask in the afterglow of their love making.

The kissing dragged on and stayed sweet, both were too tired to go for another round. After awhile Embry broke the kiss and allowed Quil to get up and go into the bathroom to get a damp rag to clean them up. Sex was an enjoyable experience, but it was messy.

"Claire's birthday is this weekend, isn't it?" Embry called after Quil from their bed, the shifter rolling over to his side, pillowing his head with his arm as he waited for his lover to return.

Quil reemerged from the bathroom with a rag in hand. "Yeah. She's having it down at First Beach," he replied, sitting on the edge of the bed, beckoning his lover to come closer so he could clean him up.

Embry was quiet as he scooted closer to his boyfriend, a clearly thoughtful look on his face. "You know she'll be eighteen," he pointed out softly before the damp rag had even touched his skin.

Quil blinked and looked down at the other man with a frown. "Embry…" he started, but he was quickly interrupted.

"I just want you to know, Quil," Embry started, pushing himself into a sitting position. "That it's okay…when she turns eighteen I know your relationship will change and it's okay."

The hand that held the rag fell into Quil's lap and the man looked nothing short of confused, a touch of panic visible in his eyes as he looked at Embry. The man he had fought so hard for and almost lost. Suddenly, he realized, he was going to lose him again. "Embry…it doesn't have to be that way…"

Embry pinned him with a meaningful look. "I'm not stupid, Quil, I know what an imprint entails and I know she'll be ready for it when she's eighteen. I've been…waiting for it…for years now, Quil. I can't fight destiny and neither can you. I've had you and now it's Claire's turn."

Quil couldn't believe it, but he felt tears burning behind his eyes. He didn't care about destiny, or fate, or his imprint. He loved Embry. He wanted Embry. "But…"

"_No_!" Embry said, his voice bordering on insistent. "It'll be alright. You'll see. You'll have Claire and you'll be happy."

"But what about you?"

Embry paused at that and looked down at the comforter between them. He hadn't thought that far. What about him? He'd be sad that what he had with Quil would end, but there was nothing he could do about it. "I'll survive." He had before.

**x x x  
that weekend; claire's birthday party**

He almost didn't go, but Emily had insisted. Claire, she had said, would be disappointed if he didn't show up. Embry, for the life of him, couldn't figure out why Claire would be upset if he didn't go to her birthday. For the past few years her life had began and ended with Quil. It's just the way things were. He had come to accept it, but that didn't mean he wanted to see destiny play out before his eyes. He had been through enough pain where Quil was concerned.

But here he was at First Beach, standing a little awkwardly away from the gathering friends and family that had come to wish Claire a happy eighteenth, but the birthday girl was missing. Embry shifted uncomfortably and tensed when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He glanced to his left and saw Jacob's worried face. "You going to be alright?" He asked softly.

Embry only shrugged. He didn't know. He hoped so. He had been preparing for this day for, well, years. But he had never thought he'd have to be present when all of it happened. He looked away from Jake, his eyes seeking out his lover…_ex_-lover. Already he felt his heart ache as his gaze lingered on Quil.

Jacob gave his shoulder a squeeze before he started towards the group of people, but still Embry lingered. At least until Quil noticed him detached from the rest of the party. He watched as the other man excused himself from his conversation with Sam and stood up, then Quil was making his way towards him.

Embry nearly turned away, but Quil caught him before he could. "What are you doing all the way over here by yourself?" He asked, frowning slightly.

"It's…it's nothing," Embry replied, offering the other man a small, reassuring-yet fake-smile. "I'm just…I…I'm not in a partying mood."

Quil didn't look convinced and Embry didn't feel like arguing his case. "Embry, I…"

Embry shook his head and stepped away from his boyfriend. "No! _No_! I'm not going to talk about this again. I said it was okay, so just drop it. _Please_ just drop it!"

"I _can't_ Embry!" Quil replied, grabbing him again, pulling Embry closer to him. "I imprinted on her, but I love _you_. I can't just walk away!"

Embry turned and pinned him with a stern glare, almost bordering on harsh. "But. You. _Will_!"

**x x x**

Embry had stormed away from him after he spoke those words. So convinced. So sure. And, well, Quil hated to admit it, but he was right. When the time came, he'd have no choice. He wanted to be with Embry, but he was meant for Claire. If she wanted him, he was hers. That's the way it was. There was nothing anyone could do or say that could change it.

"Hey, Quil, what's the matter with Embry?"

Concern was laced through her pretty, soft voice. Quil didn't need to see who had spoken to know who it was. He looked away from Embry and turned his attention to his imprint. "He's just…a little upset…"

"Upset?" Claire asked, frowning as she looked in the direction Embry had gone. "But why?"

Quil sighed softly and rubbed the back of his neck. "It's…it's the imprint, Claire…"

The newly turned eighteen year old looked confused about that. "Why would the imprint upset him?" Claire asked, looking back to Quil.

Quil shifted in the sand, looking uncomfortable before he answered. "You know that we've been together…you know what he means to me and what I mean to him," he pointed out softly.

"Of course I know that," Claire replied. "And that's why I find it surprising that you or he would think I'd break something like that up."

It was Quil's turn to look confused. "What do you mean by that?"

Claire gave a soft sigh as she stepped forward and clasped Quil's hands. "I love you, Quil. But I'm not in love with you. I don't think I ever was. I think…I couldn't fall in love with you because every memory I have of you growing up…you've been in love with Embry."

"W-what are you saying, Claire?"

"I _saying_ that you need to go after Embry and tell him that you love him and that you want to be with him. And then you need to let him know that I only want your friendship. That that's all I want out of the imprint," Claire explained softly, dropping Quil's hands and stepping away. "If you leave now you both will be back in time to sing Happy Birthday to me, because if you're not I'll come after you and drag you both back."

Quil stared at his imprint for a long, hard moment. Disbelief shown over his features as he slowly nodded his head. "O-of course…" he murmured before his lips curled into a grin. "Of course!" He said again, leaning over to plant a kiss on the girl's cheek before running off after his lover.

**x x x**

Embry was half way to his truck when he heard his name called out after him. He didn't slow down. He didn't even slow down as his name got louder and closer. He didn't even slow down when he heard the foot falls in the sand behind him. He only slowed down when he was tackled into the sand.

He recognized the warm body pressed into his own. "Quil…Quil what are you doing here?" He asked, looking over his shoulder at the said shifter. "Where's Claire? Why aren't you with her?"

"She didn't want me," Quil said, sitting up, but still he straddled his back. "She just wants my friendship, Em, nothing more."

"But what about…"

"No!" Quil said, only getting off of Embry to flip him onto his back. "There are no buts. She wants a friend. Not a boyfriend, or lover, or husband…she doesn't want anything romantic with me. She's not in love with me."

Embry stared up at Quil and looked amazed. Amazed and hopeful. As though he was receiving a gift he hadn't expected. "R-really?" He asked softly.

Quil touched his cheek, cupping the smooth flesh as he nodded. "Really," he replied just as softly, smiling broadly as he leaned down and claimed his lover's lips in a kiss.

Somehow, someway, their love managed to overcome the borders of destiny. Somehow, someway, their love survived against so many odds. Somehow…someway…they were together. And they'd remain that way.

* * *

This story was originally published on starry_nights88 profile.


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